Talking Toilets!

Talking Toilets. It may sound exciting, it may sound scary, or you might be thinking it's just plain crazy. If the latter is your choice, just stop reading; you don't deserve to know the next, best innovation hitting the streets! This is an idea bourne from excessive workloads and imbibition of alcoholic beverages of the hops and barley orientation.

Before I present the lastest innovation in bathroom technology, I would like to share some existing creations:






Now, I'm not endorsing the use of these toilets at all. I think they're ludacris -- please don't be confused. I am merely presenting the fact that the toilet is itching for innovation and a new look.

Clearly there are some problems with existing toilets, since some people don't know how to use them effectively (and cause local flooding in certain bar and club scenes). As you can see below, one German establishment felt the need to explain to its guests how they should utilize toilets for excreting bowel contents:



With that being said, I should also mention that certain bar and club scenes would be the perfect target market for my innovative technology. As the title of this post gives away the basics of this innovation, I should assure you that although the toilets will "talk", they will be programmed not to "attack", as you may already be thinking (if you have read the outstanding novel by Dav Pilkey:



Now that I've been upfront and clarified many outstanding concerns, herein lays an idea that will change the way you take a dump.

Everybody knows the feeling of having to go to the bathroom at a bar. Nobody likes it. Why? Because it's no fun, it's embarrassing, and people often laugh at you rather than with you. Well, that can all change. Just imagine a toilet that can analyze the contents of what comes out of your ass? Strange, maybe. But wait, there's more! For only a quarter two, this toilet can do a whole host of functions! You can play 20 Questions: A guessing game of what you've eaten in the last 48 hours - with real voice recognition technology. You can have it announce (to the entire bathroom) how bad your excrement really smells, and have everyone cheer with you. Note: This can be modified so that it give you an absolute score out of 10, just in case you want to have a competition with some friends. The functions are really endless, but I don't want to give away too much, in hopes to commercialize this opportunity myself someday. There really are myriad business models here. I hope you can see how this concept can scale across industries. Just think: port-a-pottys! We already know these things are customizable, just watch this video, which should confirm any suspicions, port-a-pottys thrive on innovation (Note: You only have to watch the last 30 seconds. Oh, and it's in Japanese ... but don't worry about that!)




I hope you are convinced. Please share any comments and let me know your thoughts. Maybe we can go 50/50 on a business deal. Licensing opportunties? Yes, they are vast.